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Dead on arrival

 
 

What The Fish!

Rating: 0

December 13, 2013

Cast: Dimple Kapadia, Manu Rishi, Anand Tiwari, Manjot Singh

Director: Gurmmeet Singh

The thought of spending 108 minutes in front of a washing machine watching your clothes spin around as they dry is probably not your idea of entertainment. But it sure beats being trapped in a cinema watching What The Fish! – easily the year’s most exhausting and vacuous film.

Dimple Kapadia lays it on thick as cranky divorcee Sudha Mishra, who entrusts her home to her niece’s fiancé before taking off on a month-long holiday. Her standing instructions are to feed her beloved parrotfish and to water her money plant. The fellow in charge, however, is an irresponsible lout, and before long Mrs Mishra’s home is changing hands from a sleazy real-estate broker (Manu Rishi), to a cross-dressing boxer, and even a tribal family from the North East. When the old biddy returns home, she must solve the mystery of a woman in white who dashes out of her locked bathroom.

As offensive as it is plain pointless, this film has no qualms about making jokes related to leprosy, deaf-mute people, and even innocent small-town girls seduced by cunning city-slickers. To be honest, there’s no redeeming quality to this film: not one scene, not a single character. It’s like an endurance test that director Gurmmeet Singh puts you through.

The big question you’re left pondering as you race for the exit in the end, is how exactly did this movie get made? Did nobody read the script? Was there one to begin with?

My rating, you ask? You’ve got to be kidding…WTF???

(This review first aired on CNN-IBN)

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