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That sinking feeling

 
 

Blue

Rating: 1.5

October 16, 2009

Cast: Akshay Kumar, Sanjay Dutt, Zayed Khan, Lara Dutta, Katrina Kaif

Director: Anthony D’souza

Blue, directed by Anthony D’souza is a brainless, forgettable action-thriller that quickly sinks without a trace. Let me say this right away: anyone expecting anything other than the sight of Lara Dutta in a skimpy bikini, or indeed Akshay Kumar with his shirt off, is going to be very disappointed.

The film’s hare-brained plot involves a coveted treasure buried at the bottom of the ocean, and a reluctant Sanjay Dutt playing Sagar, a working class, regular-Joe in the Bahamas who refuses to seek it out even though he seems to be the only diver in the world who knows where and how to find it.

No amount of coaxing from his friend and employer Aarav (played by Akshay Kumar) will do the trick. But the out-of-shape Dutt – whose unsightly man-boobs suggest he’s been bunking too many sessions at the gym – finally agrees to take the plunge when his kid-brother’s life depends on it. Sam (played by Zayed Khan wearing a single expression throughout) is in trouble with some goons who must be paid $50 million immediately.

For a film that’s titled Blue, most of the action here involves bike chases and car explosions, while the underwater portions are gorgeously filmed but evoke no real excitement. To be honest, in fact, the tension never heightens to the point where you worry about the protagonists. How can you, when you notice even the sharks are swimming peacefully around them, oblivious and uninterested even when underwater brawls result in blood being spilt!

Blue suffers from a dull script and inane dialogue, and is cursed with characters that are as shallow as the waters they paddle. You want to burst into laughs when Lara Dutta (playing Sagar’s girlfriend Mona) slips into Miss India mode and complains that they have no money to realise her one dream of setting up a marine research facility. The lady does not show so much as a passing interest in fish, by the way!

Coming back to the business of the buried fortune, let’s just say we’ve all participated in school treasure-hunts that were more challenging than this one. We’re told the fortune hasn’t been retrieved in 60 years, and yet Sagar leads the way to the loot as if it’s lying in his backyard.

Neither slick nor fast-paced, this film lumbers in circles before crashing into a moronic finale involving ridiculous back-stories about dead family members.

In the end, despite its travel-brochure look that might afford some momentary National Geographic-style relief, Blue doesn’t have a shred of intelligence, and it sinks in a sea of lame writing and laughable performances. Sanjay Dutt sleepwalks through his scenes, and Akshay Kumar overdoes the smugness. As for Zayed Khan, how I wish the makers had spent the fee they paid him to hire a few more sharks and include a few more thrills instead.

The music by AR Rahman is strictly average; even the item song by Kyle Minogue can’t save this film from reaching its watery grave.

I’m going with one-and-a-half out of five for director Anthony D’souza’s Blue; beneath its flashy exterior, it’s one dead fish. Watch it strictly at your own risk.

(This review first aired on CNN-IBN)

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